It was a day like the others. I should have carried out my daily routine (yoga, breakfast, blogging, study) but my brain was stuck and had an anxiety crisis.

I didn’t know why it started. Suddenly, it became more and more intense. I was like paralyzed, I could not react. I was haunted by my own thoughts. It lasted for like an hour. My goal was studying, but I failed. As soon as I realized it, more intrusive thoughts that lower my self-esteem begun to emerge. I was begun to have headaches. Not the one you have when you’re tired or you’re ill, they are of a different kind. They are intense, you cannot control them. It seems like something in your brain continue to work at an higher speed and you’re not able to understand what it is. Yesterday, I had reacted to this sensation by going to a training session, and it helped. Today, I didn’t know how to manage it and I froze.

A reaction came out like half an hour later. I divided what I had to do into smaller and achievable tasks. To improve my poor time management, I also bought a pomodoro timer.

But the crisis did not end. I started to write down my own thoughts to clear out my mind. The only thing that could have scared me was the lunch I would have had in a couple of hours. But why? I got deeper and deeper in my reasoning. I supposed that what had activated my intrusive thoughts was the management of an unexpected scenario. I knew about this meeting from yesterday. But, as no one really organize it, I took for granted that there would not have been lunch. My plans were fixed and I had everything under control.

At 10 o clock the lunch got settled. Till 9.59 I was sure I would have stayed at home. As a reaction, my brain started to reason an hundred time faster than before and my thoughts got more and more confused. The few tasks that I just wrote were unachievable. Consequently my anxiety reached its higher peak.

Now that I have written everything down, it makes sense to me. Till one hour ago I was stuck. I didn’t have any clue on why I panicked. Now, I’m aware of what happened and why I reacted accordingly. I stored these sensations and reasonings in my brain. So, if there will be a another crisis, I know how to handle it.

How to recognize a crisis and how to stop it? There is no magic formula for it. Anxiety crisis may happen unexpectedly. You may experience different sensations inside your body and your brain. I personally feel my heart that start beating faster. I start sweating. Every inch of my body seems to freeze. My brain starts to have mixed thoughts, and I detach literally from reality. From the outside it seems that I am frozen, blocked. I stare blankly the void, hoping that the moment will pass.

The main take on message is that I should have included in the plan I made yesterday this lunch. Also, I should have asked my friends to settle the meeting yesterday. But I’m happy that for the first time I reacted to this crisis by dealing with my anxiety, and not running away from it.

I hope this could be of help for you. If you want you can share your experience in the comment section.

Thank you for reading and I hope you’ll have a nice day!